Another argument for putting those apps on ice for a little while.
“The best way to date is to feel neutral,” says relationship expert Laurie Davis Edwards, founder of e Flirt and author of who emphasizes that this is especially important for online daters.
“You don’t want to feel overly excited or disappointed about a match, because until you meet in person, you won’t truly know how you feel about him.” So, no texting your mom screen shots of your Hinge prospect’s profile… It’s possible that you may need to take a digital dating break—but not necessarily a complete dating break—if your only way of meeting partners is online.
“Dating apps can be sort of addictive, and since we always have our phones on us, getting rid of the apps is an easy first step in getting rid of the temptation to stay in the dating scene when you’re on a break,” says Gibson.
Whether you’re a gregarious person who loves the thrill of going out and meeting new people or an introvert who would rather do a Netflix night in than face the unknown of another date—every single woman needs a vacation from the dating game every once in awhile.
Not only will it save you time and energy in the process of dating, and make you a better, more effective dater (whether you’re looking for fun, sex, or a relationship), but it will also keep your outlook fresh, your perspective clear, and your attitude positive.
We talked to experts who gave us eight major reasons to consider a dating sabbatical. But if you want to find someone to get serious with, or even just get to know, it’s crucial to maintain a positive outlook about your potential to do so.
It’s not that you should be in denial—it’s that you need to approach a relationship the same way you’d approach a job you really want: You’re going to keep going until you get it.
It’s easy to become overly dependent on digital dating, but it’s important to create opportunities for meeting people offline, too, says Davis Edwards.
“It’s equally important to be open to the possibility of meeting someone in person, and that means putting yourself in the right position to connect with new people.”Dismissing new people before you’ve really taken the time to get to know them—within reason, of course—can be a major barrier to meeting someone and a sign that you need to press pause on dating.
If you’re immediately not attracted to someone or can tell you have deeply incompatible lifestyles or values, that’s one thing, but it’s another to write off dudes because their jobs aren’t cool enough, they have a bald spot, or they said something a little douchey within minutes of meeting you.
(Not saying that bodes but some guys get nervous and it comes off as arrogance.) “Psychologists have studied how searching on dating sites affects people and found that the longer you search, the more judgmental you become,” says Davis Edwards.