“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.” ~Zen Proverb After my ex-girlfriend and I broke up several years ago, I never felt more alone in my life.I hung up the phone with tears streaming down my face as I stepped into my new reality.I only had one friend in the world, who happened to live fairly far away, so most of my newfound singlehood was spent alone.
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However, I’m hoping that I can share some positive advice that I’ve learned since then that has helped me—and may just help you too.
Here are a few things to keep in mind if you feel lonely in your life: First: Remember that feeling separate from others is the direct result of focusing on how others are different from us. When you look for similarities, you will find them as well.
There’s nothing wrong with doing either; however, each has their own set of consequences.
When we spend your time focusing on the differences, we begin to have thoughts about how “It’s different for him because he’s a man,” “She wouldn’t understand because she’s rich,” “He has kids so he wouldn’t have time,” or “She’s so attractive, she would never ‘get’ my situation.” We start to place others into all sorts of categories.
Most of these categories include all the things that make them different from us.
If this sort of thinking continues, eventually, we will find ourselves standing alone against the entire world—us versus everyone else.
There are indeed different circumstances and situations that we all have to deal with; however, it is also just as easy to see that underneath all the differences we may have, we all share a common human experience.
Usually I could keep a positive attitude and project the appearance was all okay, but truth be told, I was a very lonely person back then.
Sometimes, a coworker or some acquaintance would ask if I was seeing anyone to make conversation. ” Before I know it, I was crying right there, while walking down the street. What was the point of living if I didn’t have anyone to share my life with?